Leon's Jam
by Colt Mason
Summary: Star Wolf is enjoying a vacation on Aquas. Still, what would a bloodthirsty murder do on vacation? Ask Leon... (Partly a parody of Quintin Tarintino's Reservoir Dogs.) OneShot


Leon's Jam

You'd figure any regular murderer would take his time on a vacation. But this isn't exactly the case for Leon Sergi Polawski. Wolf and Panther sat in a small, shoreline bar, sipping on rum and enjoying the weather. Finally, Panther broke the silence.

"Tell me Wolf, have you seen Leon around? I haven't seen him since I got up this morning." Wolf shrugged, having little concern for his missing comrade. He sipped at his glass, nonchalantly.

"He's probably out enjoying himself. You know how he is." Meanwhile, in an old warehouse, Leon stood with his trademark switchblade dangling from his hand. Tied to the chair in front of him was a brown-furred, chubby terrier.

"I'm sorry sir! It was just the casino policy! If it were up to me, I wouldn't have thrown you out!" Sitting cross-legged on the stool in front of the poor casino bouncer was the bloodthirsty, drug-dealing chameleon. Unconvinced that the bouncer's words were sincere, Leon decided that he was tired of this, taking his turn to speak.

"Yeah yeah, I'm sure. But what I'm wondering is why you didn't take notice of-" He drew his switch blade, the light from the half-collapsed ceiling gleaming against the blade menacingly. "-this. I figured an experienced bouncer would take notice of the thing the guests have on them before being dumb enough to escort someone out of the building."

"But I'm not experienced at all sir! I've only been here four months." He blurted out, eyes showing on the verge of tears. Leon gazed at his knife for a moment.

"Shut up." The bouncer sat shaking in his boots, terrified for his life; for good reason as well. "If there's one thing I hate more than cowards, it's filthy, sweating, puss-filled, idiots like yourself!" He spat, facing the terrier nearly an inch from his snout. In an instant, Leon sat back on his stool, regaining his cool. "You'll have to pardon my manners, I'm not usually this impolite. So if you would just refrain from making too much noise, I'll make this hurt as little as possible." The bouncer shivered.

"So... y-you're letting me go?" Leon cackled with a spine chilling laugh that he did right before he was about to do something malicious.

"Not without teaching you a little lesson first." In the corner of the room was an old record player that one of the staff that used to work there must have left behind. He strode over to it an picked up the record on the primitive machine.

"Steeler's Wheel... One of my favorites." He placed the record back on the play and let it spin. The old machine crackled a bit before hissing to life. The guitar began, before the lead picked it up in the upbeat fashion of the song _Stuck in the Middle_. Leon jived to the song as it played, letting the song play in stark contrast to their current environment. "Don't mind me, just setting the mood." Leon drew his switch blade, slowly making his way back to the poor terrier that sat fidgeting in the chair, desperately trying to find a way out. "Gives you a good feel, doesn't it?" Leon said, still jiving along. As Leon approached the terrier, he quaked in fear as the insane chameleon strode closer to him. The next few minutes as the song continued was proceeded with the screams of the poor terrier being tourtured mercilessly. Leon attempted to hush him as he continued his work.

"AHHHH! OH GOD! OOOOOH GOD!"

"Aww, stop being such a wuss."

"OH, AAAAAAAAOOOOW!" The terrier howled. "I'M SORRY! I'M SOOOO SORRY! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!"

"Come on now, we're just getting started in here."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOWW!"

"Quiet down, will you?"

Wolf sat bored in the hotel room, having his fill of rum and sunshine took a break to chill in his room. There was a resounding 'click' from the door. Wolf turned his attention to the sound of the room key being entered in the door. His eyes widened in confusion as he saw his chameleon companion come in the room with what appeared to be dried blood on his shirt.

"The hell have you been?" He quizzed. Leon shrugged.

"You know, out enjoying myself. Vacations don't come around often." Wolf decided to leave their conversation and continue to relax. _Don't worry about him._ Wolf thought to himself. _It's like he said, we're on vacation, they don't come often..._ He looked over to Leon as he hummed _Stuck in the Middle_ to himself again. _Huh, I wonder why._ Wolf thought ironically.


End file.
